I grew up in a multicultural household.
My mother is dark-skinned and South African. Besides being dark-skinned, half of that side of the family is Christian and the other half is Muslim.
My father’s side are mostly Baptists and Caucasian, originating from the ‘deep south’ in the United States.
In other words, even though my gene pool is pretty varied, I came out looking more like a French girl than a girl of mixed backgrounds.
That being said, I have a wide view on everything that had to do with discriminations. That can make some people misunderstand me. I have to admit, I am a blunt, outspoken female. I have put my foot in my mouth several times growing up because of it. And you know what? I learned from it. However, my different points of view really hit hard when I was at a party in my twenties. Now, I am not going to say what happened, but technically the person thought I was being racist and therefore took what I said literally. It was just something I thought was funny, but because of our different skin color, he really did not see me as his equal, and therefore my statement was taken more as an attack than the former (and let me put it straight, I didn’t say anything profane, prejudice or even disrespectful. I promise, I am not that kind of person).
I have been misunderstoodmany times. Not only in that context, but strictly just as an individual with unique points of view.
It sucks. It really sucks to be misunderstood because you stand there mostly baffled that they misjudged you. The truth of the matter is, it really isn’t anybody’s fault. Some people, no matter how hard you try, will not get you or your message no matter how hard you try.
So, I say this from the bottom of my heart, and it took me a very long time to accept this very true and very harsh statement: people are not obligated to like you or accept you.
Now, don’t take that as me saying I feel ‘everybody can do what they want and treat people like shit.’ No, that is not okay. Obviously! But if somebody is literally not connecting with you in the manner that they respect or appreciate you as an individual, I will tell you clearly: leave! Leave as fast you can say one…two…three! You are wasting your time. You tried once, maybe twice and hopefully it stops at three times; then it is time to call it quits and leave it all behind.
I am not saying leave because people don’t think the way you do. That’s not what I am saying at all! I am saying that if you think a certain way and your politics are different than somebody else’s, for example, they need to respect you enough to ‘agree to disagree‘. It’s unrealistic to say that everybody has to agree with you. No! But they should respect you. They don’t have to like you. But hey, that is not your problem. That is theirs. Am I right? Sometimes to coexist there are some indiduals you need to forgive and stay away from.
If you feel misunderstood and you want to communicate your feelings, go ahead! But don’t expect to change minds. That is not your choice. Release that need for control. You can say what you need to say for your sake, not theirs, and then move on. And I am telling you, being misunderstood is not the worst thing that can happen to you; being disliked is not the worst thing that can happen to you… The worst thing that can happen to you is not feeling you have a voice to express what it is you feel. THAT is worse! And in my personal opinion, I would rather have a voice to express than trying to please everyone by shutting up.
Now, all you need to do is figure out what is most important to you in that regard…