This might seem like such an obvious article, but it’s not. It should be, though. However, in the fast-paced momentum of life, we fail to listen to our intuition when it is clearly trying to tell us that what we are doing is not right.
We are all guilty of it in one way or another. We ‘second guess’ our most basic intuitive instincts because we fail to trust that what we feel and what we think we know is right. This leads to certain things happening when it didn’t need to happen in the first place because we didn’t listen.
Let me give you an example. This one is 100% true.
*Trigger warning! What I am about to tell you can be sensitive and offensive to some people. Read at your own risk. Your discretion is appreciated.
There once was a girl in her early twenties. Her boyfriend asked her if she would like to go on an overnight boat ride with some of his friends. She accepted because she had never been on an overnight boat ride.
They met up with the others and the owner of the boat. She never met the owner of the boat before that night. She instantly got a really bad feeling about him in the pit of her stomach, but she went on the boat anyways.
While on the boat cruising, the man started to come onto her, even though her boyfriend was a few feet away. It was so dark and the motor engine was noisy, masking what was going on. He even touched her inappropriately! Nobody noticed. She ended up not saying a word to her boyfriend because they were in the middle of the large river surrounded by gator-infested water. The last thing she wanted was for one of them to get into a fight and go overboard. For the remainder of the boat ride, she stayed next to her boyfriend, avoiding the ‘creepy guy’. She wished she never went on that boat.
When they were in the car driving home, she told her boyfriend and their mutual friend what had happened. As she had predicted, he was furious at the ‘creepy guy’. She was glad she didn’t mention it to him on the boat. She prevented possible casualties, but she was forever scarred by the man’s inappropriate behavior toward her on the boat.
A few months later, the mutual friend who knew mentioned to her that that same ‘creepy guy’ was arrested for assaulting and raping one of his coworkers.
This was a more extreme example but nonetheless it talks about someone whom felt uneasy about doing something but did it anyways.
Why did she do it in spite of her hesitation? These are the possible reasons:
-Does not want to look bad in front of others.
She carried on and did what was expected of her and she ignored her gut feeling. If she didn’t go, somebody might have been annoyed or upset. Awhell, right? Or if they were supportive it wouldn’t have mattered that she decided not to go at the last minute. She would have saved herself the trauma which her and only her had to carry from then on.
Here’s a few things to recognize when you are going down the ‘wrong path’:
1. You feel it’s plain WRONG.
When we find ourselves in a situation that requires us to take action and we feel ourselves hesitate to do it, we need ask ourselves ‘why’? Understanding where or from whom that feeling is coming from will help us understand what exactly we need to pay attention to before making the next decision.
Does the decision feel good to you or the opposite?
If the answer is that it doesn’t, speak up and stand your ground. There are boundaries here. If you make the decision to take the wrong step forward, most likely you are also crossing your own boundaries by inviting others to do the same.
To better understand what I mean by it feeling ‘wrong’ brings me to the next point:
2. Is that dread you’re feeling?
Stop and reconsider what that feeling is. Is it nervousness? Is it fear? Or is it pure dread?
Dread is a very powerful word. Even the sound of it makes people feel uncomfortable. Dread is felt in the area around your navel. The way I would describe it is: it feels as though your insides are sinking into a limitless abyss. Dread can feel as soft as a feather or it can feel really intense. In my experience, it depends on the severity of the situation and what your gut is warning you about.
Dread is like a best friend you never wanted but always needed. It is there for you around the clock, 24/7. It never lies. As long as you listen to it, you’re a-okay.
If you don’t listen to it, well, that’s merely a testimony of free will. If you acknowledge it and listen, you can avoid some minor or major life setbacks. In the end, the choice is always yours.
3.Things go wrong.
When you are not supposed to do something, the Universe has another way of communicating it to you! Things start to go wrong. It can be electronic devices breaking; your car breaks down; your cat runs away. Maybe even the post office messed up your mail delivery… Whatever it is and whatever you did that wasn’t on the right path, the Universe will keep sending you signs until the little light in your head goes off and you have that moment of clarity.
4. You are not happy.
I’m not talking about when you get into a bad fight with your significant other or your best friend and you’re not happy about that. I’m talking about that you have not been happy in a long time. Like months or even years. And if you are really good at listening to yourself, it might only take days.
Your Soul is not in denial. If you are not living the life you would be most happy in, you will not be happy. Point blank. And it will stay that way until you acknowledge that something needs to change in your life or you will continue being unhappy. So don’t get stuck in old habits because they’re comfortable and you’re afraid to take a leap of faith. Just be smart. Plan wisely and figure out what you really want to do.
It’s not easy or else everyone would do it! This really takes patience, it takes courage and it takes a lot of drive until you succeed.
How do you know that something needs to change? Because when you think about what needs to change and you literally feel the weight lift up off of you. You might even feel relief when you come to the realization in your ‘aha!’ moment of what needs to be done.
The Universe says: “Nope! This is not what you want! What you doing! What you doinggg! No, I’m not going until you get off your butt and do something about it. That’s okay, I’m patient. I’ll wait! I will stay here until you’re ready to find your true happiness. Ready? Ready yet??
5. Don’t be the ‘hater’.
When you are not on the right path, you will make up excuses for why you are in that position. There’s always a reason. And it will make you feel ‘stuck’. That’s a horrible feeling. I don’t know anyone who likes feeling ‘stuck’. That feeling is the ultimate clue that you are not on the right path.
And then what happens?
You might start looking at those whom are living on their right paths and hating them for it. You will start to notice how bitter and jealous you get when you see them. Maybe you might even feel sad or angry at yourself.
The truth is this: you know you are not living the life you should and that can make you feel negative things toward yourself and toward others. If you ever do feel this way, understand why and what is causing you to feel that. How can you change to make you feel happier? Maybe it’s just your attitude. Or maybe it’s your neighborhood? Your type of friends? Some family members even? Your job? Or is it everything?
6. Talk to yourself lovingly.
Never scold yourself about anything. Woulda, shoulda, coulda does nothing. To walk and never look back requires courage and the understanding that whatever you have been through in your life does not define who your are. They were merely milestones that took you where you needed to go.
7. Nobody is better than anybody else.
It is important to not compare your life with others. Compare it to where you want to be. Are you where you want to be? If the answer is ‘no’ then make it into a ‘not yet, I’m working hard to make it come true. And it will. I have faith in me.’ That sounds much better, doesn’t it?
You are strong. You are important. You are unstoppable.
Remember that and say it over and over again to yourself. Let yourself hear it!
If you haven’t read my previous article: ‘Excuse me, ‘self’: I don’t think we’ve met…’ I highly recommend it.
**Take note that these articles are not backed up by scientific research. They are the original fabrication of my own experiences. Take what you need and toss the rest away. Namaste ~